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Out in the world and low self-esteem

How are being out in the world and having low self-esteem connected!? What I've realized from being in the house for three+ months.

First Here's some backstory about my healing process and experience and how I made it into a self-study period!

I have been healing my leg since February 27th. In the hospital first, then a rehab center, then living with my parents in Tahoe, and most recently back at home in Sebastopol. For the past three months+ i have been either in bed or on the couch most of the time. I have been out for small adventures in my wheel chair and on crutches but mainly have been nestled in my home with help from my parents to go to the store and to get things from around the house. I have needed help getting dressed, taking meds, showering, I have basically been completely dependent.

What being in the house has taught me has been immense. I have learned to sit with myself. I started by doing the program "Becoming the One" by Shealeana of Rising Woman. (links at the end of this article). Then I signed up for a Tantra program with my teacher Halo of Shakti Temple Arts. I felt a need to dive deep into myself. I answered this need with many programs that enhanced my personal self-study and self-knowledge.

I did the Kali Retreat from Rewilding for Women with Sabrina Lynn. I read many books. i will chronicle all the books i have read in the links below. Jumping into the self-work I learned to sit with myself. Probably one of the most important programs I joined was Rising Woman The Path program which is currently closed. One of the workshops was about sacred tea ceremony with Marianna Rittenhouse. This workshop started my relating with tea and nature differently. Marianna offers programs for connecting with nature and with tea. Her instagram is linked at the bottom of this post.

So with tea, meditation, and books, I adventured through my three months on the couch and in bed. Also, I stopped eating gluten, I started eating anti-inflammatory foods in order to cut the inflammation physically.


The Things That Scare You - Pema Chodron

The Conscious Heart - Gay Hendricks

Conscious Loving - Gay Hendricks

Women Who Run With the Wolves - Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Mysteries of the Dark Moon - Demetra George

Recovery of Your Inner Child - Lucia Capacchione

Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet - Thich Nhat Hanh

Life Does Not Frighten Me - Maya Angelou (I recommend this book for kids and adults!!)


Rewilding for Women

Rising Woman

Marianna Rittenhouse - Tea and nature guide

Here's how the world and low self-esteem seem related to me.

June 7, 2022

I've been in my house for three months and my boyfriend took me out to town to pick up some sparkling water. I got out of the car and went into the store, and bought some sparkling water and a pre-biotic drink. I paid.. and on the way out I just felt nervous. I noticed the nervousness and feeling of disconnection. When I walked out I started to have negative thoughts about myself. I attribute that to the place I was, because I have not experienced any of those thoughts for three months!!! So I know that something about how our society is structured lended itself to my poor self-esteem.

How rampant is this?? Are people experiencing this symptom of our society and then having no idea where it was coming from think that it is just "them"? This is a cause for huge concern.

It's not YOU. its capitalism. it's not YOU. its the flourescent lights. its not YOU. its the gasoline and the neon signs and the fake food. its not You.

I just want to tell this to all the little girls and boys and moms and dads. Nature time is so important so that we can differentiate between REAL and NONREAL.

I will say this again:


How are you experiencing nature? How are you getting your dose of the medicine?

You can just look at a flower in the city for a while and get a dose. You can and may have to, hug a tree in the city to feel back into yourself. You can look at the night sky and stars. You can go on a run and breathe ferociously. You can grow veggies in your back yard or kitchen. You can steal some sand from the beach and put it in a box outside your house and put your feet in it for ten minutes. You can douse your self in essential oils. You can light organic beeswax candles. You can drink herbal tea.

You HAVE to get the nature time in.

My favorite shoes are called Earthrunners. Check them out:

I'm here if you want to try the path of Elemental Ayurveda, Tarot, Reiki, Massage, Fertility Awareness, or Self-Care Coaching. I'll help you get your nature time in.

It is essential.

This is what I learned today from my exploration into town. We NEED NATURE. i love you.

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