I'm obsessed with having kids. For a while I didn't even think about kids, and then i became aware of the deep desire in my bones to carry children into the world. I am sort of finally settled with a partner and a home and I can think about children. but it took a lot to get here!! I spent so much time wasting away because I wasn't whole. I had traumas and issues keeping me down, keeping me in insanity patterns and sucking my precious energy. For 12 years i suffered like that. It was terrible. I couldn't keep friends, no one wanted to be my partner, teachers even looked the other way because I was "too much" to handle. I was too scattered, terrible, sad, hurt, lost. I was called a "lost soul" practically to my face by a friend's dad once. And I don't even want to imagine how many times I was called something like that behind my back.
Things were hard for a while and I didn't make any progress towards my goals, in fact I didn't even know what my goals were!
It wasn't until I found a partner who shook me up and told me it like it was and wasn't scared to stand up to my face and call out my hurt and negative and stuck patterns. It wasn't easy to be criticized for everything that I was suffering from that seemed so out of my control. But this partner shook me awake. Until I realized that I was suffering and then finally I recieved the care I needed to get myself unstuck.
Basically my story is miraculous, and I can't even offer the same type of healing that I experienced. But the good thing is most people aren't suffering as bad as I was. Most people are just stuck under past wounds and traumas from childhood, abandonment and other things that their parents have left them with unknowingly. Most of the time all we have to do is a deep self reflection and some somatic therapy and we'll uncover the deep patterns that are keeping us from freedom.
I am here to offer some of the first steps in healing, wholeness, sovereignty, and enlightenment. These steps are part of the yogic scriptures and are called "svadhyaya" meaning "self-study". Svadhyaya is a practice that we engage in daily and eventually when we are very experienced, all day long. Self-study is a way of life, it is a way to practice ahimsa (non-harming) and many of the other commitments of yoga like tapah (discipline), and isvarapranidhanani (selfless surrender to God).
Coming to learn about your Ayurvedic constitution is a way into knowing yourself more. You find your make up of the elements (which also helps you get closer to nature!). You find tendencies or hear me describe patterns that you may have noticed in your life. You can express yourself as to how the energies in your constitution have played a role in your life, and check in with yourself to make sure everything I'm saying resonates with you or not. Knowing your constitution you can make choices during the day that you wouldn't have noticed otherwise. Patterns or habits like going for the hot sauce again when you're already running hot, going for the munchy crunchy when you're already having anxiety. These are food patterns but what we eat says so much about how we're feeling. Ayurveda can change so many of our patterns and often food and nourishment is where we begin.
You will learn self-care practices that fit with your personal life. If you wake up early you can do warming and invigorating self-care practices in the early morning. If you work all day you can learn to bring tools with you to work to do self-care breaks. You can learn how to create sacred space and practice ritual. You can learn how to communicate with nature and the elements in order to come back home to yourself.
All these tools and practices, learnings, and studies, help you shine brighter so that you can reach your life goals.
It's worth the work.
Lots of love,
sarah
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